Drummer Jokes

A guy walks into a music store.

"You got one of them Marshall Hiwatt AC30 amplificatior thingies and a Gobson StratoBlaster geetar with a Fried Rose tremulo?"

"You're a drummer, aren't you?"

"Uh, yeah. How'd you know?"

"This is a travel agency."

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Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Just one, so long as a roadie gets the ladder, sets it up and puts the bulb in the socket for him.

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Q: What do you call a drummer with half a brain?

A: Gifted.

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A drummer, sick of all the drummer jokes, decides to learn how to play some "real" musical instruments. He goes to a music store, walks in, approaches the store clerk, and says "I'll take that red trumpet over there and that accordian."
The store clerk looks at him a bit funny, and replies "OK, you can have the fire extinguisher but the radiator's got to stay".

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A fellow walks into a shop and says to the shop assistant: "excuse me, I'd like to buy a guitar pick, and some strings."

The shop assistant looks uncomprehendingly at his customer, and says "pardon?"

"I'd like a guitar pick please, and some strings."

The shop assistant thinks on this for a while, and then turns to his customer and says "you're a drummer aren't you?"

"Yeah! How did you know man?"

"This is a restaurant."

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Q: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A: A drummer.

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A man dies and goes to Heaven. Unlike he had expected, Heaven is essentially a really long hallway with doors on either side, each with a short IQ range listed on it. Inside, he learns, the rooms are perfectly tailored so that the conversation will match the intelligence of the people in them.
He opens the 170 door. "Well," comes the conversation inside, "I've always found Fourier transforms to be a rather limited way of interconverting what are fundamentally..."

SLAM. Too rich for him. He heads down the hall a bit to the 115 zone and opens the door. "I just read 'Generation X'," comes a voice, "and though Coupland doesn't do too badly in identifying his generation's fundamental angst, I was a bit confused by..."

SLAM. Not bad, but now the man was getting curious, and wanted to see what was further down the scale. He tries 95. "Hey, did you read the paper today? Says interest rates will go up again..."

SLAM. How about 60? "Huh. Thought 'Married With Children' last night was pretty funny. Didn't get the bit about the hooters, though..."

SLAM. It was getting pretty bad. He tried 35. The people inside were looking at one another and drooling.

Finally, he came to the one marked with a 10. He hesitated, fearing what he would see when he opened the door. But he did, seeing only two guys inside.

"So," one said to the other, "what size sticks do you use?"

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Q: What does the average drummer get on an IQ test?

A: Drool.

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Q: What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?

A: "Hey, guys - why don't we try one of my songs? ..."

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Q: How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one-- but he'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that you can't push them in.

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Q: What do you call a drummer with half a brain?

A: Overqualified.

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What is the difference between a bad drummer and a vacuum cleaner?

One of them sucks without having to plug it in.

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Q: What did the drummer say to the band leader?

A: Do you want me to play too fast or too slow?

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If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum. - Ancient Proverb

Late.