Words to use in your resumé or performance evaluation

There are a lot of sources for "action words" that are effective in resumés or performance evaluations. Here's one list, here's another. I've been collecting some words that don't appear on most of these lists. These words will sound great, and while they are not exactly flattering, at least you're being honest, right? And if your manager is as lazy and dimwitted as mine (just kidding, Carl, if you're reading this [not kidding if you're not]), he'll never know what your saying or bother to look these words up in the dictionary.

callipygous - adj. Having beautifully proportioned buttocks

omphaloskepsis - n. contemplation of one's navel

agelast - n. Someone who never laughs.

oscitancy - n. yawning or drowsiness

opprobrium - n. Disgrace; infamy; reproach mingled with contempt

soi-disant - adj. Self-styled; so-called.

hebetude - n. Mental dullness or sluggishness.

balneal - adj. Relating to baths or bathing.

mucophagy - n. The practice colloquially referred to as picking one's nose and eating it.

defenestration - n. An act of throwing someone or something out of a window.