I work with monkeys

Do you work with monkeys?

Some of the things co-workers of mine have actually done:
1) Came to work armed, and told the boss that he was required to be armed at all times because of the work he did for "the government"
2) Worn slacks with K-Mart tags still attached.
3) Upon being notified that a dangerous dog was loose behind our building, went out and tried to pet the nice doggie. An ambulance was needed.
4) After said dog was released by the Animal Control from impoundment, another co-worker decided to adopt the nice doggie. He came to work the next day with both hands completely bandaged.
5) Left beer in the office refrigerator. And then get caught.
6) Had sex in the office with contract employees and allowed them to put down the time as overtime. And then get caught.
7) Wrecked a company vehicle and blamed the accident because he was being chased by rednecks. And then get caught.
8) Told his boss that he missed work for several days because he had been abducted. When he was told that the company required a drug test after unusual incidents, he replied, "oh yeah, they forced me to smoke crack".
9) Wear warm-ups and sandals to work.
10) Go to jail for road rage when you wreck a company vehicle, don't report it to the company and take the vehicle in to be repaired, decide it will cost too much and report the vehicle stolen. And then get caught.