Football season is over. Oh, how I long for the sweet kiss of death.

I love football, but my desire to watch is proportional to how well our fantasy football team is doing. Entire seasons have been ruined by a poor draft or the luck of the draw. This had been a good season, the Nancy Boys started slow but were coming on at the end. All we had to do is win one of the last two games of the year to make the playoffs, and we were facing two of the worst teams in the league. Yep, you guessed it, we lost both games. Last night we lost by two points, a sack with 2:36 left in the game, outscoring just about every other team in the league, and had 70 bench points. A heart-rending, soul-wrenching, humiliating kick in the guts.

Help me quit this miserable existance. I long for the perpetual gloom of that good night.