Work Intelligence Test

Joke of the Day

Q: What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?

A: In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer.

Video of the Day: Fishing Show Bloopers

Best blooper show evar!

Apostrophe's turning' up' Everywhere!

Proper apostrophizing can be fun.

Bass Player Jokes

A while back I posted some drummer jokes here and here, now I've heard a couple of bass player jokes, and turnabout is fair play.

What do you throw a drowning bass player??
... His amp!

Son: "Daddy, I want to grow up and be a bass player."
Father: "Son, you can't have it both ways. "

Q: What's the first thing a bass player says when he knocks on your door?
A: "Pizza!"

Q - What's the difference between a bass and a rhino that's just eaten a can of baked beans?
A - One's a huge useless thing that makes a deep farting noise and the other is a rhino.

Q What's the difference between a bass and a trampoline?
A You take off your shoes to jump on the trampoline.

I Shouldn't Even Be Doing This! by Bob Newhart

I Shouldn't Even Be Doing This! by Bob Newhart.

Site of the Day

Tim O'Reilly has Idea 2.0

Tim O’Reilly coined the term Web 2.0 five years ago. Now he is trying to coin the term Gov 2.0, and has helped organize a summit next week to talk about what that might mean.

When asked to comment, Mrs. O'Reilly said that she had had enough of her husband's numbering schemes, referring to leftovers as dinner 2.0 and going to the bathroom number 2.0.

Little Green Men by Christopher Buckley

Little Green Men by Christopher Buckley.

Supreme Courtship by Christopher Buckley

Supreme Courtship by Christopher Buckley.

I Knew There Was a Word for It

Holidrawl

Joke of the Day

A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, "Hey, lady! You're really ugly!" The lady was angry, but she continued on her way.

On the way home, she passed by the pet store again, and again, the parrot said, "Hey, lady! You're really ugly!" Furious, the lady stormed into the store and threatened to sue the store.

The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn't say it again.

The next day, she deliberately passed by the store to test the parrot. "Hey, lady!" it said.

"Yes?"

"You know...."

From Comedy Central's Joke of the Day.

Product of the Day - Suitcase Full of Sausage

Joke of the Day

The Dalai Lama walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."

The Broom of the System by David Foster Wallace

The Broom of the System by David Foster Wallace.

The Gum Thief by Douglas Coupland

The Gum Thief by Douglas Coupland.

Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace

Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace.

Slam by Nick Hornsby

Slam by Nick Hornsby.

Clear Evidence of Global Warming

I found this here.

Can you spot the 1,000 things wrong with this picture?

From one of my favorite sites, The Big Picture, sponsored by the Boston Globe newspaper, it highlights high-quality, amazing imagery - with a focus on current events. This image was from the series "Icy Days and Nights".

Wow, That's Deep

Does your computer get jealous when you use it to shop for a new computer?

Nerd Humor

I read this awesome blog called Passive-Aggressive Notes, and this note is what nerds like me find humorous.

What to Expect when the Price of Gas Falls below Zero

Based on current projections by Rob Cockerham at cockeyed.com, the price of gas will drop below $0.00 per gallon sometime in March of next year.

What does this mean to you, the consumer?

- Big oil companies will be paying you to fill up your gas tank, so you'll pull up to the pump, fill up, and they'll hand you cash
- Driving will be cheaper than doing nothing. You'll drive around all evening after work, listening to the radio and making money.
- Taxi drivers will become wealthy upper-class snobs
- Gas burning SUV's will actually increase your income
- Power plants burning gasoline will pay you to use their electricity, so that they can use more gasoline. Now you can air-condition the neighborhood like you always wanted to as a kid, without your dad yelling at you that money doesn't grow on trees

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler.

Really? Really?

Top 10 Things if Drew Were Elected President

10) I would require IQ test for driver's licenses, voter's registration (clearly needed if I was elected president), and cell phone licenses (yes, I said cell phone licenses). There would be stupid people lanes on the freeway for those that don't make top scores.
9) Report all communists
8) Compulsory border patrol service for all illegal immigrants (don't you just love the irony?)
7) I would immediately declare war on France
6) Presidential cheerleaders. Too much negativity in politics, not enough positive energy
5) They'd have to let me drive Air Force One
4) Reporters who ask me hard questions would be sent to the camps.
3) Balance the budget with a tax on Michael Bolton
2) Immediately grant all terrorists the martyrdom they desire
1) White House Party

My running-mate would be Meg Ryan.

Recruiting Corrosion Engineers

Our job market is as hot as it has ever been, I regularly get several calls a week from recruiters looking for corrosion engineers. Our company is taking an active hand in recruiting prospective corrosion personnel from colleges and universities, and they asked me to help them come up with a description of what a corrosion engineer does.

Corrosion Control - we keep exciting things from happening

Corrosion Control - real-life application of the Nine Tenets of Constancy

Corrosion Control - crushing the laws of Thermodynamics, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

Sounds pretty exciting, doesn't it? When someone asks me what I do, I usually tell them it's a combination of MacGyver and that guy Q from the James Bond movies.

Video of the Day

I love to read the comments on YouTube.

Washington Schlepped Here: Walking in the Nation's Capital by Christopher Buckley

Washington Schlepped Here: Walking in the Nation's Capital by Christopher Buckley.

No Way to Treat a First Lady by Christopher Buckley

No Way to Treat a First Lady by Christopher Buckley.

Cancel Your Own Goddam Subscription by William F. Buckley

Cancel Your Own Goddam Subscription by William F. Buckley.

Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex by Mary Roach

Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex by Mary Roach.

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris.

Florence of Arabia by Christopher Buckley

Florence of Arabia by Christopher Buckley.

Soon I Will Be Invincible by Austin Grossman

Soon I Will Be Invincible by Austin Grossman.

I Am America (And So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert

I Am America (And So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert.

Naked by David Sedaris

Naked by David Sedaris.

Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach

Hey Nostradamus!: A Novel by Douglas Coupland

Microserfs by Douglas Coupland

First Post on Drew's Blog

A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote:
"Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."
The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price."
"But," the dog replied, "that would make no sense at all."